Watch Out for These Cruel Modern Dating Trends

It’s the year 2022. A lot has changed, especially in the dating world. New dating behaviors, both good and confusing, are emerging every week — and it’s become hard to keep track of them.

Weird-sounding terms like obligaswiping, flashpanning, and hesidating sound as if someone is casting a spell or conjuring a demon from hell. But, no. They are names for the latest dating trends.

While, in general, not all dating trends are terrible, some are unfortunately really cruel and toxic. If you are not familiar with them, here is a list of terrible dating trends to look out for (and avoid):

1. Love Bombing

Love bombing occurs when the person you are dating overwhelms you with excessive romantic gestures — but only in the first few months of your relationship. They will shower you with words, attention, and love to make you feel good and secure.

But, suddenly, they change. Their sweetness shifts into manipulation. When you don’t give them what they want, they turn into a completely different person. They start becoming distant and difficult to deal with. Once they’ve gotten bored of you, they leave without a word and move on to their next prey.

2. Stashing

Stashing happens when the person you’re dating deliberately hides you from their friends and family. As a disclaimer, not all stashers are hiding something. Some simply like keeping their personal lives a secret, even from people who are close to them.

Nevertheless, this behavior can be hurtful to the person being stashed. It may make them believe they are not worthy, that their partners are embarrassed to be seen with them. It can also lead them to assume that their partners may be lying to them — that they could be hiding their real life, their wife and kids.

3. Breadcrumbing

From its name, this happens when someone throws crumbs of attention to manipulate someone into thinking they are interested in them when, in fact, they do not intend to get serious with that person. In other words, they are leading a person into thinking they want a relationship with them, when they don’t.

The psychology behind why people do this is because they like the attention they get from the person they are leading on. They need validation from others, and that validation makes them feel better about themselves. Basically, people who like to breadcrumb are narcissists.

4. Ghosting

Ghosting happens when someone you are dating suddenly disappears without a trace. You could be happily talking one day, then the next day, they disappear. They don’t accept your calls or reply to your text and have even blocked you from all their social media. They become unreachable. It is as if they have died, and there is no way to contact them anymore, hence the name.

5. Orbiting

Orbiting happens when someone who ghosted you has reemerged from hiding. They offer no apologies, no making amends. They just casually pop up on your social media, viewing your Stories and liking your posts, acting as if they never ghosted you.

6. Kittenfishing

Kittenfishing happens when someone misrepresents themselves. They fake their interest, career, or appearance. Their goal is to make themselves look better by exaggerating (or making up) qualities they have (or don’t have).

For example, on their profile, they say they’re six feet tall. But when you met in person, they turned out to be shorter. Or, they would claim they love children and want a family, but they don’t. They’re just using that narrative as a front to lure potential matches.

In short, they want to appear as the perfect partner, so they try their best to pretend to be someone else. Slowly, you will find inconsistencies in their stories until you eventually figure out they’ve been lying to you.

7. Throning

Throning is a form of gold-digging. However, instead of going after your money, they go after your status or reputation. They believe they can have the same reputation by simply dating someone who already has it — i.e., famous by association. Think of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.

8. Vulturing

Similar to a vulture, these people prey on the wounded. They usually appear around people who are in a rocky relationship — i.e., relationships on the verge of breaking up or about to divorce.

Their goal is simple. Pretending to be a knight in shining armor, they are waiting for the right time to swoop in and help the wounded pick up the bits and pieces. But they are NOT noble knights, they are vultures. They are not helping for selfless reasons, they are only helping because they know you are in your most vulnerable state, and they want to take advantage of it.

9. Hesidating

People who hesidate often have high and inflexible dating standards. These standards are what’s making them hesitant to push through a relationship. They do not like the idea of falling for the wrong person and ultimately wasting their time on them. This leads to their hesitant attitude towards dating.

In a way, their situation is quite paradoxical. They want to find “the one,” but are afraid to go through the dating process and commit. Although they engage in dating activities, they only exert minimal effort. In short, they try but, at the same time, shy away when it gets all too real.

Keep an Eye Out for These Trends

Dating is fun and scary.

You might be head over heels for someone, but you won’t really know with absolute certainty if they are taking you seriously. Believe it or not, some people are on dating sites not because they want to find genuine love but because they are bored with their lives.

If you don’t want to fall victim to these people, watch out for the signs. Likewise, don’t get discouraged. While it’s true that some online daters on the internet are awful people, there are still a few who are decent and looking for love just like you. It’s only a matter of avoiding the first and finding the latter. Best of luck!