STAYING SINGLE, is it the best path to take?

“Being single is the best new trend these days!”

You have probably heard this line before.

It may sound encouraging and empowering to some, but is it really that good of a trend? Or is there more to it?

Many people around the globe are expressing that staying single or at least being consciously single is the best path to take nowadays. In fact, many American men and women that never went through marriage or divorce have been encouraging others to stay single for life. While it is easy and exciting to discover the benefits of staying single, the reasons why people are opting to go solo are equally unsettling as well.

So, why has being single become a trend nowadays?

The answers are simple and obvious — Pain, Fear, and Anxiety.

We are not talking about extreme cases of Philophobia or what we call the “Fear of Falling In Love” that leads people to turn down the whole idea of relationships, be they friendly or intimate ones. We are talking about people who have developed fear and anxiety after going through a series of heartaches, broken relationships, infidelity, or abusive relationships.

Sudden severe chest pains, shortness of breath, nausea, and many other symptoms are the physical manifestations of heartbreak. All these can be caused by failed relationships, and it is not merely a heart matter issue if we look at it this way.

Going through emotional and physical distress will undoubtedly make people think twice about entering into another relationship, whatever form it may take.

That is also what pain does to people, it creates a defense mechanism that makes a person avoid things that revive the negative feelings that the person may have once experienced, and this is how fear and anxiety are developed.

Most of us may have experienced being in a painful situation, and taking a break from relationships has probably crossed our minds. After all, we steer clear of the things that have caused us pain and the things we are afraid of.

Moreover, the world is not even helping those who are slowly treading on the path of singlehood. Look at the news around the world. Marriages are getting weaker if not broken. They even make shows and movies portraying such issues. No wonder some are choosing to remain single instead of getting into relationships.

Considering all these, isn’t the staying single trend an expression of our pain and fears?

Isn’t it just a way for us to escape from our anxiety? Our way to avoid getting hurt?

If that is so, then is the staying single trend something we should embrace?

Whether to join such a trend or not and for whatever reasons, we remain in no position to say what a person must choose, as we should, as well, acknowledge people’s experiences and feelings.

However, each of us is in a position to change how people view relationships, or we might as well take this as our responsibility. Yes, a responsibility to show the world that relationships are not just about Pain, Fear, and Anxiety — there is also Healing, Calmness, and Security. That there is a kind of relationship that will heal us from all our wounds, bring calmness to our souls, and create a bond that secures us for life.

Where to find it? It is definitely not through being single for life. It is with the person destined for us, the person who we allowed to be part of our lives. Staying single closes this door, it extinguishes that hope of finding that someone. Most importantly, we must strive to become the person we are hoping for.

Now, is being single really the best path to take?