SINKING SHIP: A One-Sided Commitment

Have you ever heard of the line a captain never leaves his ship?

If you have, you may have been amazed by a captain’s commitment to his vessel and crew.

A relationship is just like a luxurious cruise ship. It can be beautiful, amazing, and has all the fun things you can enjoy.

In reality, it is just like any other ship; it will still face many stormy seas. It is not all sunshine and cloudy days.

Most of us may have experienced being in a failed relationship. Some may have experienced a series of devastating winds in the sea of love or had bigger waves of heartbreak than others. Your experience may have changed how you view an ideal marriage. Perhaps entering into a healthy relationship has become far-fetched.

Nonetheless, one thing remains sure — you have grown and matured from whatever it is you may have gone through. Just like a captain that has survived many storms.

How would you fare in a storm?

Let us now picture yourself being romantically linked to someone. (That is if you don’t have a significant other, yet).

You are serious about it, and you have been doing everything just to mold yourself and your partner to fit into the ideal and healthy relationship that you have imagined.

Everything went smoothly, you are loving to your partner and he or she is loving to you as well. You could say that they are the sweetest person you have ever been with.

But, whenever you talk about marriage and commitment, they would always shy away from that topic. Disappointing, isn’t it?

To paint it differently, it looks like a sinking cruise ship. It has all the good stuff but you are not getting anywhere, well, going under the water is for sure! And certainly, no one would want that!

(Unless you’re fond of scuba diving, but you’ll eventually drown if you stay in the water for too long, would you not?)

Then you start asking yourself, why won’t he or she commit despite having a great relationship? You start thinking about whether to save it or not.

A good captain will always find ways to keep an amazing ship from sinking. Unfortunately, a sinking ship will definitely sink no matter what. Unless you do something to save it. Yes, of course, it can be saved!

However, simply patching it up won’t do the trick. Although you’ll have to be an expert to save an actual vessel, you don’t have to be one when it comes to your relationships.

So, what should you do? Here are a few steps:

Get it all out, Talk.

You’ll unavoidably think of the many reasons why the relationship is sinking due to the lack of commitment of the other party. Well, you are on the right track. A good captain will look for the problem in his or her boat. In other words, there is no better way to fix things than to know why it is not working well!

It would be common sense to first locate and vacuum out the water that got in! In the same manner, you must search for the reason why your significant other is not willing to commit.

Could it be that he or she had a devastating experience in the past? Does he or she have other priorities? Is he or she afraid of responsibilities? There are plenty of reasons! Just found a way for both of you to agree to get it all out!

Plan things together.

Assuming that both of you have talked things out and have made everything clear.

The next thing to do would be to plan on how to address each other’s concerns.

To fix your relationship, devise a plan on how to solve your current situation and do it together. After all, a captain can’t do anything if he or she is alone nor will the ship fare well in the sea without its crew.

Assuming that your partner is the crew and you are the captain or it can be the other way around. Regardless, it won’t be so successful without taking the initiative to talk it out first. You won’t go far on fixing things when you don’t even know what to fix.

Don’t delay the solution.

Some couples have the tendency to set aside problems and not do anything to solve them.“Why don’t we give each other space for the meantime until we can fix things?”

It is not fixing anything and you are simply delaying the solution to your problems. So, you don’t have to be surprised that most couples that have this tendency would always end up abandoning the ship.

When you see the problem in your ship would you not try to fix it or would you wait until it sinks? I doubt that you will delay the solution.

Ships beyond saving, and those that need saving.

There may be plenty of reasons why we decided to commit to someone for life. However, you might not have the best compatibility with someone, and committing might be in vain. Sometimes you are just in a bad situation and at the wrong time.

Just like that captain in the famous movie called Titanic, particularly that touching scene where the captain showed his unwavering commitment to staying with the ship till the end. He was a great captain, but he was there at the wrong time and in the worst situation.

So, does a captain ever leave his ship?

I don’t think so. It is unwise for a captain to never leave his ship. In fact, there is no international maritime law that a captain must never leave a sinking vessel.

You can’t just let yourself go to an unnecessary dive! It is simply self-destructive. You just have to be open-minded and wise in judging your relationship and where it is going.

There are vessels that you don’t have to save, and there are others that deserve to be saved. No matter how hard you fight for your current romance, there will always be a love story that is specifically designed for you.

At the end of the day, the right relationship will never have a one-sided commitment. Move on! you will find your next voyage. You will never know, that next “set-sail” is just waiting for you.