Dating an Asian | Are Strong Family Ties a Red Flag?

According to social research, “Asians tend to be highly group-oriented people who place a strong emphasis on family connection as the major source of identity and protection against the hardships of life. The family model is an extended one including immediate family and relatives, and loyalty to the family is expected.”

While having strong family ties can be a very endearing trait, it does raise a few questions and concerns. How does this affect your relationship? Let’s find out.

Here are some possible cons of a highly family-influenced relationship:

1. Relationships that might disrupt harmony in the family are blatantly frowned upon.

It can be heartwarming if you were invited to a family dinner by your Asian partner. It’s not new to them to make their family involved in their romantic relationships. However, receiving a dinner invite does not necessarily mean you have the family’s approval. You may or may not find yourself carefully walking on eggshells when you are with them.

2. Children are expected to obey their parent’s requests and demands.

It is common in Western culture where parents teach their children independence. You’ll hear countless stories about Americans leaving their family home as they reach the legal age. However, that is not the case with most Asians. They are taught to honor and respect their parent’s requests and demands even when it comes to personal decisions, even though they are old enough to make their own.

3. Asians often put on a mask of a highly stoic demeanor, especially in a crisis.

While it is not necessarily a bad thing, this kind of attitude could put a dent in your relationship if not taken care of. They might tend to appear nonchalant even with the most heartbreaking event in their lives and you even have a clue about what they are already going through.

Cultural differences can cause problems in your relationship if not properly understood, especially when it comes to subjects that include the family. Even though it is a labyrinth to navigate through filial piety, you should try to focus on the positives as well.

1. Asians will always hold your honor.

Most Asians are raised to act prim and proper, especially in public. Expect they would never try to humiliate you on purpose when you’re going out.

2. They are raised to be respectful and devoted.

This could be a trademark that Asians honor loyalty in relationships and would give you the same respect that they do towards their family.

3. You can be part of that extended family too!

This could be a whole new world to you, but it could also be a good thing. Having a new family could mean extra love and more fun memories to make with your partner too.

Even though this whole article’s purpose is to convince you to look beyond the family norms of dating an Asian and see the beauty in it, it is also time for us to evaluate our prejudices and move past these common cultural stereotypes.

Our family is what honed us to become the person that we are today. Instead of focusing on your partner’s upbringing, focus on finding ways to build healthy and better relationships with your partner, no matter the differences you may have.