Combating Racism Against Asian-American Relationships

Thoughts from a Chinese woman who is married to an American Man

Navigating interracial relationships as an Asian woman can be both exciting and challenging. As a matchmaker, I had the opportunity to speak with Jane, a young Asian woman who has been in a relationship with a non-Asian partner for several years.

Through her experiences, we have learned that there are many misconceptions and stereotypes that can make it difficult for these relationships to thrive. However, with open communication, mutual understanding, and respect, Jane was able to convince me that these relationships can be just as fulfilling as any other.

Society’s Blurred Lens with Interracial Relationships

One of the biggest misconceptions that Jane has encountered is that people assume that because her partner is white, she must have an “exotic” fetish or that her partner must have a “yellow fever” fetish.

“It’s so frustrating when people make assumptions about our relationship based on stereotypes,” Jane says. “They fail to recognize that we are just as complex and diverse as any other group. My relationship with my partner is based on love, mutual respect, and shared values — not on any kind of fetish.”

Another challenge that Jane has faced is dealing with the microaggressions that come with being in an interracial relationship.

“People will often make inappropriate comments about our relationship or ask invasive questions about our sex life,” Jane added. “It was challenging to feel at ease in public due to these upsetting and insulting comments.

However, Jane and her partner have learned to handle these situations with grace and tact, and they always make sure to stand up for themselves when necessary.

Additionally, being in an interracial relationship can also mean dealing with disapproving or judgmental looks and comments from family, friends, and strangers.

“It can be difficult to handle the disapproving looks and comments, but it’s important to remember that it’s not my responsibility to change other people’s minds or make them accept my relationship,” Jane says. “It’s important that I surround myself with supportive and understanding people who will celebrate my relationship rather than judge it.”

Despite these challenges, being in an interracial relationship has also brought many benefits and joys.

“I have learned so much about my partner’s culture and I have been exposed to fresh perspectives and adventures that I would not have had differently.”

Additionally, Jane and her partner have a deep understanding and appreciation for each other’s backgrounds and experiences, which has helped to make their relationship stronger.

Through open communication, mutual understanding, and respect, these relationships can thrive. It’s important to remember that stereotypes and prejudices should not define one’s relationship and that it’s essential to surround oneself with supportive and accepting people.

When I ask Jane what’s her advice to other Asian women who want to find love outside the continent but is afraid of the backlash they might receive, this is what she said:

“Speak up and stand up for yourself and others when you encounter them. Practicing self-care and surrounding yourself with a supportive community can also help you cope with the negative effects of prejudices. Remember that you have the power to control your own narrative and not let prejudices define you or your relationship.”

Ultimately, love knows no boundaries and all that matters is the connection and understanding between two individuals.