A Dating Coach’s Perspective on the Re-filing of Divorce Bill in the Philippines

As a dating coach, I wish nothing more than to see healthy and lasting marriages. After all, marriage is a life-long commitment.

But not all marriages deserve to last.

Some marriages are so severely unhealthy that filing for divorce is the only way to break free from them. I support the victims of marital abuse; we can’t force people to stay married if we’re not sharing in the struggles or abuses they’re experiencing.

With that said, I salute the people behind the re-filing of the legalization of the Divorce Bill in the Philippines — the only country besides the Vatican that doesn’t recognize absolute divorce.

Filipinos, like anybody else in the world, don’t deserve to be trapped in unhealthy, loveless, or worse, abusive marriages. They also deserve the protection and freedom that divorce could offer.

It is a Human Right

Lawmaker Edcel C. Lagman, the author of the recently re-filed Divorce Bill, stressed that not legalizing divorce in the Philippines is a human rights concern.

I couldn’t agree more.

The Filipino people are big on human rights. Thus, it confuses me why abusive marriages remain unrecognized as a human rights violation. In unhealthy marriages, many women, children, and even men suffer physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.

These toxic marriages steal away people’s right to life, security, liberty, and even property.

Many women and children live loveless and abused lives because they have no way out of it. It takes away their will to love life and enjoy it. They live every day enduring pain and fear they could only wish to go away. It’s almost the same as having no life at all.

They’re also deprived of the security and liberty they could have access to if only divorce was legal.

Homes are supposed to bring comfort and protection. But in abusive marriages, homes are where women and children are most unsafe.

I mean, why would you deny someone the chance to live a better life, or find new meaning in their life?

Legalizing divorce means choosing to save these people from marriages that have practically become living hells.

Not an ‘Expressway Out of Marriage’

Divorce isn’t easy. And couples don’t file for divorce just because.

Many of those against the Divorce Bill are afraid that it will become an ‘excuse’ to disrespect the sanctity of marriage — to do unethical things and get away with it.

I beg to disagree.

People walk into marriages hoping it will last a lifetime. But not every marriage starts wrong or abusive. Abuse, or infidelity, sometimes happens later on. And Filipinos sadly have to live with it because they can’t avail divorce and because society promotes a culture of silent suffering.

There’s no point in ‘holding the family together’ if it’s doing more damage than good for the couple or the children. It isn’t enough to justify the pain, abuse, and trauma they get from abusive marriages.

And times have changed. People don’t just walk into a marriage because they’re required to. If I’m being honest, marriage isn’t the priority it once was. Some people don’t even care to marry at all.

The younger generation, in particular, has become practical. They understand that marriage isn’t a requirement; so they work on their careers first.

They wait until they’re older and work on being stable (in all aspects) before getting married.

Divorce doesn’t destroy marriages. If anything, divorce makes them believe in marriage more because it gives them less fear of the unknown.

Hence, I don’t see why the Philippines must still hold back in legalizing divorce. For all these reasons, I think it’s high time that the country finally passes the Divorce Bill.